I was sat at home feeling rather melancholy when a Robin appeared in my garden perched on a lantern. The widowed community have their own superstitions about the presence of Robin Red Breasts. I hadn’t seen one in a while, could it be coincidence that today was five years ago I arrived home to comfort my late wife after she received life changing news?
On hearing the news, I collapsed to the floor of my hotel room, paralysed with fear & guilt that I should have been there, knowing she was alone that night. Janice was more held together than I was, I was stuttering, in tears, unable to get words out for a good 30 minutes or more, shock set in quickly, we talked for as long as we could, I tried to find an earlier flight home, but was unable to do so. It was a long night, unable to eat, unable to sleep, unable to think straight, unable to talk to anyone about what I'd just learned. The morning couldn't come quick enough, my car took me to the airport, I boarded my flight to find on my return Janice waiting at the door. She always tracked me on my phone so knew I was just pulling up, we hugged and cried for a long time that day.
Fifteen years together as a couple is a significant milestone. Crystal is the traditional gift for a 15th wedding anniversary. It represents the clear and sparkling love between husband and wife.
What saddens me is the disrespect that has been shown to my late wife Janice’s memory, from those who know what she experienced with MacMillan. MacMillan nurses lack of care, not acting as a patient advocate, unsupportive, leaving her scared and vulnerable, Janice made a conscious decision during treatment and at end of life care to never fundraise for this sham of an organisation.
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