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Tag: death

Dog Days are Over – A Journey of Love, Loss, and Letting Go.

Somewhere over the ocean, the strangest thought hit me. The stumps on her back… what if they were her angel wings? I know it was just a dream. The mind is an incredible thing—finding patterns, making connections that may not even be real. But… the thought of it… was enough to break me again.

I had held it together for as long as I could. But now… the floodgates opened.

After years of illness, delays, and guilt, I was finally here—taking Janice to the place she had always wanted to be. I stood where she asked me to scatter her ashes, the wind carrying her into the landscape she loved.

She was home.

And now, I had to let go.
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Palliative Care and the Three Stages of Friendship Loss

On hearing the news, I collapsed to the floor of my hotel room, paralysed with fear & guilt that I should have been there, knowing she was alone that night. Janice was more held together than I was, I was stuttering, in tears, unable to get words out for a good 30 minutes or more, shock set in quickly, we talked for as long as we could, I tried to find an earlier flight home, but was unable to do so. It was a long night, unable to eat, unable to sleep, unable to think straight, unable to talk to anyone about what I'd just learned. The morning couldn't come quick enough, my car took me to the airport, I boarded my flight to find on my return Janice waiting at the door. She always tracked me on my phone so knew I was just pulling up, we hugged and cried for a long time that day.

End Game?

If you're looking for a motivational happy clappy tree hugging hippy type spiritual noises type of post, then you probably should look away now or skip to another blog for today's a bit morbid...