If you’re looking for a motivational happy clappy tree hugging hippy type spiritual noises type of post, then you probably should look away now or skip to another blog for today’s a bit morbid…

For your amusement though, I’ve added a couple of videos of me playing guitar very badly 😀

One of the hardest conversations I had was to talk to Janice about her funeral arrangements.  Saying it was hard, feckin’ hard is and understatement.  A part of you thinks you’re giving up, another part is trying to be practical and make sure her wishes were known.  Janice was quite frank about what she wanted when she felt able to talk about it, being pragmatic, reassuring and as always kind, I’ll never forget her eyes as we talked.  When she’d had enough the subject was changed to something more light hearted.  We both found it hard, but then talking about our own mortality general is…

Things have happened over the last few weeks, that have made me question many aspects of life and death.  Whilst Janice was able to talk about her wishes, I find myself in the unusual position that if I was hit by a bus tomorrow would anyone know what I wanted?  And the answer is, I don’t think anyone would because lets face it, talking about this is hard enough, but when you have no children, no family, and my cat (and talking companion) only bloody well died this year, I realise it could be months before I’m found melted into the sofa looking fetchingly anorexic in my one piece skeleton suit.

To avoid the difficult conversations with friends who simply dismiss this stuff as being dramatic, or you’ve plenty of time and all that, then I thought I’d add my wishes here so at least there’s a bloody good starting point and no argument from people trying to guess what I may want.

Don’t worry I’m not dying or any such nonsense, just being practical about this stuff, because hey, I have no one.

Here goes:-

Funeral Directors

• Same as my Late Wife.

• Embalmed?
  • Yes
• Buried or Toasted?
  • Cremated
  • Same crematorium as my late wife.
• Coffin
  • Same as my late wife (Funeral Director has the details)
  • Janice would hate having something sub-par to me anyway 🙂
• Flowers
  • Immediate Friends Only
• Chapel of Rest
  • Only Immediate Friends
• Time
  • After 12pm, no one wants to go to a funeral service before lunch time!

Crematorium

• Attendees
  • Anyone who knew me and wants to say goodbye.
• Music
  • Struggling with this one and may change periodically
    • The Galaxy Song (Monty Python) – Entering
    • Wish You Were Here (Pink Floyd) or Good Bye Blue Sky (Pink Floyd)
    • U2 Beautiful Day
• Service
  • Non-Religious I guess.
  • Ideally the same Celebrant as used for Janice if he’s still practicing since we met a couple of times before.
• Eulogy
  • Any volunteers?

Flowers

• Donations instead to the Cynthia Spencer Charity which cared for my late wife.
  • One of my friends can set up a Just Giving Page for this.

What to Wear?

• For me
  • Ideally one of my Suits, either my cream summer suit with a flowery/loud shirt.
• Everyone Else
  • Black, it’s a funeral init? Besides, the girls will no doubt look awesome in their strappy little black number…  May as well have some eye candy 😀😍

Wake

• Same hotel Janice had and the same room.
• There’s sufficient funds in the estate to cover this.
• Hopefully someone can create a video slide show of my lifes highlights and stuff?
• Party Hard and get drunk 🙂

Legal Stuff

• My solicitors have details of all legal requests and information of which my best friends (N&C) know these details.  Otherwise, the police would need to do a bit of digging around.

Ashes

• Again, full instructions are provided to my Legal Representative stored in their vaults.

I think that covers most aspects of my Funeral Wishes though I’m sure to update it as and when I may want to change things around depending various factors.

Thanks for listening

Jason x