Back when I were a kid, we had :-

• Lead toys painted with arsenic to put in our mouths.
• Our parents read bedtime stories from Haynes how to manuals for :-
  • How to Climb interior Chimney Stack and remove the soot (Ages 3-5)
  • Munition Shell cleaning for toddlers (Ages 2-4)
  • The art of Pick a pocket or two (all ages)
  • Matchstick Making (All Ages)
  • Parkour and Steeplejacking for 2 years olds.
• We’d wear clothes made out of old sacks (The Posh ones did at least) and the choice of colour was soot black or wholesome dirt.
• And walk home 23 miles in our bare feet (well you had to go where the work was) after a 27 hour shift.
• The only colour of face painting was purple because of ring worm…
• Nursery Rhymes reminding us to stay away from people with colds because we will probably die…  (A Tishoo… A Tishoo)
  • Sorry about that must be hay fever or something…😱
• And we’d all fear the child catcher…

This was of course necessary to earn our keep in the hope we’d get a bowl of gruel.  We usually ate 2-3 times a week, unlike that spoilt Oliver fat fella who was guaranteed a daily meal and never satisfied…

Fast forward to today however, I feel I’ve toughened up over those years but nothing, NOTHING could prepare me for this song…

Kids today, don’t know they’re born…

🤦‍♂️